An effective boss inspires and motivates his workers and encourages them to work as a team. A discouraging boss instills negative emotions in his employees. In the latter case, you may dread going to work, tense whenever he approaches, and doubt your abilities. Mo matter what you do, it’s seems as if it's never good enough. You may even be tempted to quit your job. Before you take such drastic measures, try to find appropriate ways to handle the situation.
Step 1
Figure out the reason behind your boss’s behavior. What you perceive as discouragement may simply be your boss being hard on you because she wants you to excel. For example, if she criticizes a project you did, see if her critique is valid or whether you are taking her comments too personally. However, if your boss takes credit for your efforts, distrusts you for no reason, doesn’t encourage your talents or skills, and creates a block between you and her superiors, then she’s probably insecure and feels threatened by you. She may feel under-qualified or fears losing her job and discouraging you makes her feel better about herself.
Step 2
Establish close professional relationships with a mentor in the company or co-workers who can provide you with constructive feedback and assistance when your boss fails to give it. If you rely on a discouraging boss to motivate you, it may never happen; this can ultimately and negatively affect your self-image and your work performance. The strong bond that you develop with a mentor or your coworkers can help you through difficult times, particularly when self-doubt emerges.
Step 3
Acknowledge your boss’s accomplishments, skills and experience to help boost his confidence. If he’s insecure, all he probably needs is a little recognition. Don’t go overboard with flattery. Simply and sincerely point out his positive contributions in front of others so he feels appreciated and less threatened. Also, include him in your accomplishments. For example, if you are honored with an achievement award in front of others, in your acceptance speech, include your boss as one of the people who made it possible.
Step 4
Maximize the opportunities that your boss gives you. If she feels under-qualified, she may give you challenging assignments which can broaden your skillset and abilities. This may also allow you to develop professional relationship others who might acknowledge your abilities and dedication.
Step 5
Learn and adapt to your boss's preferred communication style. For example, he prefers to discuss suggestions in person before documenting them; therefore, go to him with ideas before sending related written communications. This shows your boss that you respect him as your superior and may help to reduce his insecurity. Further, if he enjoys morning chit-chats about non-work matters before discussing work-related issues, use this time to learn who he is as a person and to understand his motivations and behaviors.
Step 6
Keep track of your accomplishments, such as compliments from co-workers, managers and customers. State the accomplishment dates and delivery methods, such as in person, over the phone or by email. Write down the impact your accomplishments has had on the company. If your discouraging boss fears that you will outshine him, he may never give you the recognition that you deserve; therefore, document your work so you have proof that you met or exceeded your job expectations. This is particularly important during performance reviews, which determine whether you get a raise, a promotion, a demotion, no raise, and, ultimately, whether you get to keep your job.
Step 7
Exercise assertiveness without overstepping your boundaries. For example, your boss complains that you are not answering his emails promptly enough but you usually respond within 15 minutes of receiving them. Tactfully show your boss the emails with the times that you responded. Or, if a project required your immediate attention and your boss’s email was not that urgent, explain that you were attending to a critical work matter. Your boss might respect you for tactfully standing up to him rather than being a pushover.
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